Question: At a simcha I attended recently, the host wanted to honor his friend with leading the Grace After Meals, but the friend had to decline because he had not washed (in order to partake of bread) before the meal. Is it a requirement to perform netilat yadayim before a meal in order to recite the blessing over bread?
M. Jakobowitz
Brooklyn, N.Y.
Answer: Indeed, the optimum manner to begin a meal is to wash the hands (netilat yadayim) in order to recite the blessing of HaMotzi, which then serves as the blessing for all foods eaten at the meal – except wine, for which the beracha of Borei Pri HaGafen is to be recited (which in itself serves to discharge the obligation for all other drinks served in the event one did not wash) – as bread is the foundation of the meal. If one did not partake of bread, he would not recite the blessing over bread, and would therefore be required to recite a separate blessing for each food that is served.
Now, in defense of those who don’t wash at many of these events – weddings, bar mitzvahs or dinners – today there is an epidemic of digestive ailments, such as Crohn’s disease, celiac, I.B.S., gluten intolerance, blood sugar ailments, diabetes, and so on, as well as concern about excessive weight gain. Thus, many people, either of their own volition or as per medical advice, choose to cut their bread or gluten consumption. The fear is that even if one washes with the intention of eating only a k’zayit (a small measure) of bread, he may end up eating more. Physical conditions aside, the correct manner to approach a se’udat mitzvah is to wash and at least eat a k’zayit of bread (literally an olive’s measure).
The following passage in Tractate Berachot (42a) might help us understand the principle involved:
R. Huna ate thirteen rolls (cakes) of three to a kab [a very small measure] without saying a blessing [Grace After Meals]. R. Nahman remarked: This is [a quantity you eat to satisfy] hunger! [It is not just a dessert, and therefore requires Grace After Meals.] R. Nahman is consistent with his own view: Anything which others make the mainstay of their meal requires Birkat HaMazon afterwards.
The Gemara then relates that R. Yehuda gave a wedding feast for his son in the house of R. Yehuda b. Habiba. The waiters set before the guests “pat haba’ah be’kisanin” – bread such as is served for dessert. (R. Chananel in his commentary describes them as pockets of dough filled with sugar, almonds, and nuts.) When R. Yehuda arrived, he heard the guests reciting HaMotzi. He remarked (derisively, because he did not consider it the proper blessing): “What is this ‘tzitzi’ that I hear? Are you perhaps saying the blessing of HaMotzi?” They replied: “Indeed, such is the case, for we have been taught in a Baraita that R. Muna said in the name of R. Yehuda that ‘bread served with dessert’ requires the blessing of HaMotzi, and R. Shmuel said that the halacha is as stated by R. Muna.” R. Yehuda said: “[It has been stated that] the halacha is not as stated by R. Muna.” They retorted: “Is it not the Master himself who has said in the name of Shmuel that bread wafers may be used for an eruv (meaning, they are considered substantial food) and the blessing recited over them is HaMotzi?” To which R. Yehuda replied: “In that instance the case was different for they had based the meal on it (kav’u se’udah), whereas here it does not apply because it was not the mainstay of the meal.”
This Gemara is the basis for our halacha, and so rules the Mechaber (Orach Chayyim 168:6): For cake we say the blessing of Borei minei mezonot and conclude with the beracha [acharona] of Me’ein Shalosh (Al HaMichya). However, if one ate a quantity that would usually serve as the mainstay of a meal for other people, he blesses HaMotzi and recites Birkat HaMazon even if he was not satiated. (This applies if he intended to eat such a quantity – whether or not it was sufficient to satiate him.) However, if a person intended to eat a small quantity and therefore recited Borei minei mezonot, but ended up eating a larger quantity (the norm that usually serves as a meal), he recites the Grace After Meals even though he did not bless HaMotzi. Consequently, if he ate less than the quantity upon which others base a meal, he blesses Borei minei mezonot and concludes with the Al HaMichya (the beracha that one makes on the seven different kinds of produce of the land of Israel), even if he considered it a meal for himself since we follow the norm established by the population at large.
When asked a question on this matter, my uncle, HaRav Sholom Klass, zt”l, quoted the Gemara (Shabbos 62b) where R. Abahu states that three things bring man to poverty (aniyut), one of which is eating without washing the hands. My uncle remarked that there is an easy way to remember it with the acronym “ani” (poor) which is formed by the words “al netilat yadayim.”
He then quoted another Gemara (Sotah 4b) that is apparently more severe in its description of the punishment for laxity as regards this mitzvah: “R. Zerika said in the name of R. Eleazar, Whoever makes light of washing the hands will be uprooted from the world [i.e., face the punishment of death]. Tosafot ad loc. (s.v. Ne’ekar min ha’olam) point out the inconsistency between these two statements and reconcile them by noting that poverty can be worse than [a swift] death.
Aruch HaShulchan (Orach Chayyim 168:18) decries what had become a practice in his days (and which is much more so the case in our days):
He states: “Many of our Gedolim are displeased with the custom that has spread on festive occasions to set up tables laden with fish dishes, meat dishes [namely, smorgasbords] and ‘pat haba’ah be’kisanin.’ People eat without washing…and without the blessing of HaMotzi or Birkat HaMazon. Instead, they recite Borei minei mezonot and conclude with Al HaMichya. They consume a large quantity of these cake-like bread items and there is no doubt that it requires washing the hands, as well as HaMotzi and Grace After Meals… And even if they do not eat these, but eat several courses of the other dishes, they are required to wash the hands…”
As regards what you observed at the simcha you attended, the individual you mentioned lost out on a great kibbud (honor). At any meal where a minimum of ten men participate, the invitation to join in the Grace After Meals is recited with Hashem’s Name (“Nevarech Elokeinu…”) Imagine the feelings of the host if out of the large crowd of invitees, fewer than ten had bothered to wash!
